MAISHA'S STORY
I am originally from Bangladesh. I was born here in the U.S., but my parents took me back to Bangladesh when I was 10 months old and I lived there for 19 years, my whole life. I grew up in a completely different culture because my parents did not want me to grow up in this “culture” and even though there are times when I feel like I do not belong here, I am glad that they made that decision. I am glad that I got the chance to meet some amazing people, made friendships that will definitely last a lifetime. I decided to come back to U.S to study Chemical Engineering because Chemistry and Mathematics are two subjects that I am good at, and so I just went for those. I was supposed to attend the University of Massachusetts but at the last moment after booking, my flight there were things that came up and I could not go, so I just had to take a year gap and decided to stay in NYC by myself. I decided to get a job and explore NYC a bit in that meantime. Little did I know that I was about to discover a completely new side of myself. I discovered that I liked to interact with people and engineering was not really my thing. Engineers definitely make a great impact on this world, but I feel like they do not get the opportunity to see the impact they made on peoples’ lives directly, so I decided to go for a field where I would see the change that I am actually making in peoples’ lives and also their reactions. For example, even smiling at a person, you see how it makes their day and I want that.
I worked at GNC where I dealt with people who had health issues and things in that nature, I would give them suggestions and I know how helpful they thought it was and how much it meant to them. I decided to volunteer in the pharmacy department at hospitals and I figured out then that this is probably what I want to do with my life. Therefore, I looked for programs in New York (NY) because I like NY. Soon after that I decided to attend University of Buffalo (UB) because I did not want to stay in the city (NYC), it was a little too much for me.
I like NY because of the changes it brought in me. Back in Bangladesh I used to be the girl who would wear make-up every single day because that is how it is there, people do not really smile at strangers because it is thought to be creepy or compliment them, you would probably think they are a stalker or something. Words of encouragement and random compliments are not a common thing there. I felt that my confidence depended on make-up because people would always be commenting on my complexion or my body shape. Once, I came to the U.S. the whole point changed. I stopped wearing make-up, at first, I stopped wearing foundation and would just have lipstick on and I would see random people coming up to me and they would be like “Oh you have a beautiful/ contagious smile”, or “You are so kind” and that would just make my day. I’m a very sarcastic person, or at least I was, but now I know I don’t feel awkward complimenting someone and that’s because of the people I met along the way. They made me realize that beauty isn’t defined by looks. Your personality is what actually matters the most.
Another thing about NYC is the diversity. The people are very accepting there of different cultures. I love the diversity in NY because it gave me the chance to know more people and although I’m Bengali and I love Bengalis, but I just did not mix with a lot of the Bengalis here in the U.S., mostly because I wanted to broaden my horizons and learn more about other cultures. Just like majority of the people in my country, my parents are conservative too, but at the same time they sent me here (to the U.S.) by myself which I think is a very big step, because in Bangladesh you don’t just send a girl off to study by herself and live in a foreign country by herself, so I really respect my parents’ decision. My parents have been very supportive throughout my life in whatever decision I made and it is because of them that I am able to explore.
After coming to UB, you know during orientation how they tell you to “step out of your comfort zone”, I would never, I’d be like “yeah, you can keep talking, but I’m never going to do that, I’m just here to study”, because that’s how schools in Bangladesh were; you just studied, it’s only grades that matteedr, and that’s how I was raised. After my first semester at college I remember taking one class, I believe it was “Public Health” and we were watching a video in the last class titled “Last Lecture” and it was about a professor who had cancer. It was his last lecture as a professor, he knew he was going to die in three months, but he spoke about how he did not have any regrets in life because he tried a lot of stuff but it was very inspiring, inspiring enough that I setup five appointments that day to learn about all the resources at my school and then I figured out I wanted to overcome my fears. So, I decided to join toastmasters (www.toastmasters.org/about/all-about-toastmasters) because I’m not a good public speaker, so I decided to join because although I feared public speaking, I knew I wanted to get better at it. One of the things I really believe in life is if you overcome your fears, that gives you more confidence and confidence is the key to success, so that is why I decided to join toastmasters. That was the first step for me overcoming my fears, becoming more confident and after that I decided to be more involved in more clubs and organizations and it gave me the chance to meet more people.
I decided to spend my spring break at REACH and it was with people from my college. It was amazing because I am a Muslim here and although REACH is not associated with any particular faith, we were housed in FCC and my parents were like, “You’re going to live in a church?”, They’re accepting but it was not easy for them to say yes. However, I made up my mind and decided to come and spend my Spring Break here. I attended the Sunday morning service while most of the people from my college had gone hiking and that is because I had never gone to a church before and I wanted to see how it worked for them. When I came, the people were so welcoming and nice, and they were okay with having a stranger from a different religion in their church and I was not expecting that, That is one of the main reasons I decide to come back to REACH because people here remembered me even when I came back as a summer camp counselor, they were like “Oh, yes! You were here before”, and they literally saw me once and they remembered. I felt welcomed, accepted here, and I enjoy doing what I am doing here. I love spending time around people who genuinely care about you. It makes me sad thinking that I will have to leave this place soon. While everyone else is looking forward to go back home, I am not, because I don’t really have a “home” here in U.S. I just go to college in Buffalo but that is not home. Home is Bangladesh. However, REACH and FCC is what I would call my home in U.S.
I worked at GNC where I dealt with people who had health issues and things in that nature, I would give them suggestions and I know how helpful they thought it was and how much it meant to them. I decided to volunteer in the pharmacy department at hospitals and I figured out then that this is probably what I want to do with my life. Therefore, I looked for programs in New York (NY) because I like NY. Soon after that I decided to attend University of Buffalo (UB) because I did not want to stay in the city (NYC), it was a little too much for me.
I like NY because of the changes it brought in me. Back in Bangladesh I used to be the girl who would wear make-up every single day because that is how it is there, people do not really smile at strangers because it is thought to be creepy or compliment them, you would probably think they are a stalker or something. Words of encouragement and random compliments are not a common thing there. I felt that my confidence depended on make-up because people would always be commenting on my complexion or my body shape. Once, I came to the U.S. the whole point changed. I stopped wearing make-up, at first, I stopped wearing foundation and would just have lipstick on and I would see random people coming up to me and they would be like “Oh you have a beautiful/ contagious smile”, or “You are so kind” and that would just make my day. I’m a very sarcastic person, or at least I was, but now I know I don’t feel awkward complimenting someone and that’s because of the people I met along the way. They made me realize that beauty isn’t defined by looks. Your personality is what actually matters the most.
Another thing about NYC is the diversity. The people are very accepting there of different cultures. I love the diversity in NY because it gave me the chance to know more people and although I’m Bengali and I love Bengalis, but I just did not mix with a lot of the Bengalis here in the U.S., mostly because I wanted to broaden my horizons and learn more about other cultures. Just like majority of the people in my country, my parents are conservative too, but at the same time they sent me here (to the U.S.) by myself which I think is a very big step, because in Bangladesh you don’t just send a girl off to study by herself and live in a foreign country by herself, so I really respect my parents’ decision. My parents have been very supportive throughout my life in whatever decision I made and it is because of them that I am able to explore.
After coming to UB, you know during orientation how they tell you to “step out of your comfort zone”, I would never, I’d be like “yeah, you can keep talking, but I’m never going to do that, I’m just here to study”, because that’s how schools in Bangladesh were; you just studied, it’s only grades that matteedr, and that’s how I was raised. After my first semester at college I remember taking one class, I believe it was “Public Health” and we were watching a video in the last class titled “Last Lecture” and it was about a professor who had cancer. It was his last lecture as a professor, he knew he was going to die in three months, but he spoke about how he did not have any regrets in life because he tried a lot of stuff but it was very inspiring, inspiring enough that I setup five appointments that day to learn about all the resources at my school and then I figured out I wanted to overcome my fears. So, I decided to join toastmasters (www.toastmasters.org/about/all-about-toastmasters) because I’m not a good public speaker, so I decided to join because although I feared public speaking, I knew I wanted to get better at it. One of the things I really believe in life is if you overcome your fears, that gives you more confidence and confidence is the key to success, so that is why I decided to join toastmasters. That was the first step for me overcoming my fears, becoming more confident and after that I decided to be more involved in more clubs and organizations and it gave me the chance to meet more people.
I decided to spend my spring break at REACH and it was with people from my college. It was amazing because I am a Muslim here and although REACH is not associated with any particular faith, we were housed in FCC and my parents were like, “You’re going to live in a church?”, They’re accepting but it was not easy for them to say yes. However, I made up my mind and decided to come and spend my Spring Break here. I attended the Sunday morning service while most of the people from my college had gone hiking and that is because I had never gone to a church before and I wanted to see how it worked for them. When I came, the people were so welcoming and nice, and they were okay with having a stranger from a different religion in their church and I was not expecting that, That is one of the main reasons I decide to come back to REACH because people here remembered me even when I came back as a summer camp counselor, they were like “Oh, yes! You were here before”, and they literally saw me once and they remembered. I felt welcomed, accepted here, and I enjoy doing what I am doing here. I love spending time around people who genuinely care about you. It makes me sad thinking that I will have to leave this place soon. While everyone else is looking forward to go back home, I am not, because I don’t really have a “home” here in U.S. I just go to college in Buffalo but that is not home. Home is Bangladesh. However, REACH and FCC is what I would call my home in U.S.
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